Dear Life,
This kinda sorta sucks ass. I am bored. bleh.
So, I will tell you a story. The story is about a little girl named Norah. Norah liked to play. Thus, it logically follows, that Norah played all the time. But her daddy didn't want her to play. So he beat her and raped her until Norah no longer felt like playing anymore. Now Norah doesn't play. Norah just sits around and avoids her father and every other man she sees. Sometimes she reads, but generally she just stares out of the window at the dieing oak tree in front of her house. So it goes.
I got into Berkeley, yay. I have everything I could desire, except the desire to do anything at all. I want the world to dissolve. I want to dance until nothing else matters. I want to be the green fairy. I am the green fairy. I want to dive into the deepest darkest piece of ocean with a ball and chain attached to my ankle. I want the little fish to nibble away at my flesh before some larger creature comes to take a nice big bite.
No desire to go to college or do anything that "they" and possibly "you" deam as a productive and healthy way to live. I want to play with straight guys and gay girls until i'm ***. I want to stare at the endless diamond sky while my feet freeze off.
I want everyone to tell me they hate me and mean it so that i can see what it feels like to be truely hated and know it. That would surely be better than just wondering if i'm hated all the time. Some people make it quite clear of course.
Is there really such a thing as love. It has recently come to my attention that in my romantic relationships I tend to play it as some game where i have to use them before they use me and dump them before they dump me. Just so ya know, this does not make for an especially satisfying experience. I hate him. I hate him. I hate him.
I hate my parents for touching eachother.
Somebody save me.
'god' is a verb, the sine qua non for is-ing
I don't want to '**' anymore
Love,
Sharon | 